Poking and Prodding Podgorica

Europe's most boring capital lives up to its reputation, but that doesn't mean it has nothing going on.

Exploring Podgorica is a lot like poking an unconscious person with a stick: sometimes you see something, often you don’t.

Many parks are currently closed due to wildfire risk.

Helicopters can be seen flying over the city with buckets on their way to nearby wildfires, some of which were started by arsonists. The cops caught some kids trying to start one here in the city the other day, and luckily were caught. Teens are all over the place and bored.

The Podgorica View Terrace and Duklja Ruins are on the north side of town and aren’t open for people to walk around right now, though you can drive by.

The weather is temporarily cooling down to around 33º (and cloudy - yay!), when it had been holding steady at over 40º for the whole time I’ve been here, so I’m hoping to go to Duklja and the View Terrace before I leave on Monday. I might have to just get a cab and pass by slowly if I’m not allowed to walk around.

It’s not every day I see a chopper carrying a bucket of water.

The old prison looked cool, but it’s not quite safe enough for me to explore in the clothes and shoes I have with me.

I didn’t see this on any list of things to see, but it’s hard to miss the ruins across from the bus station. I brought my camera and was going to make a cool video, but noped out due to the overgrowth, instability of the structure, and abundance of poop. I think people come in here to relieve themselves to avoid paying to use the toilet at the station. Some of the cells are right by a dirt lot, and you can see trash and excrement piled everywhere. There is also a tribe of mean cats running the joint, according to Benjamin, the floppy-eared, friendly street dog

I call this dog Benjamin. He lives in front of an Aroma grocery store, and I’ve seen him a few times. He’s really friendly. I like how he pricked up his ears when I spoke to him. Say hi to Benjamin for me if you visit!

Since the prison is of Ottoman vintage, it’s a protected historic building. All that means right now is that you can’t tear it down, though that’s probably the best thing to do with it at this point. It would be an expensive undertaking to clear it out and make it safe before turning it into a museum. And for what? Tourists typically use Podgorica as a jumping off point, and that’s how the locals treat it as well. To have fun, everyone goes somewhere else.

Jusovača Prison was too overgrown and covered in animal? poop for me to explore further, I wasn't wearing sturdy boots or thick clothes. It was a late Ottoman prison that was used all the way into the 20th century under Tito until a larger prison was built outside of town.

Decent restaurants exist, but you have to look for them.

I like the challenge of looking for something, it sweetens the reward. Today, I went to an upscale Indian restaurant, and loved it. I wasn’t sure if getting Indian food in Montenegro would be a good idea, but the restaurant already had customers eating when I arrived, it was clean, and the waiter was a real pro. I brought leftovers home, saving me a walk. It was 30 Euros, which is steep for Podgorica, so that’s my one “fancy meal” for my stay here. In general, sit-down restaurants are pretty reasonable as far as cost, cheaper than Serbia, and maybe a mite pricier than Tirana, or right about what you’d pay there. Generally you can eat pretty well here with a drink for about 10 Euros. There are two Mexican restaurants here, I recommend one (Marquez), but the other is okay too.

Most of the dining options are mediocre, but as long as I can meet my nutritional needs and not get sick, I’m happy. I’m way beyond the point of looking for memorable dining experiences, and that’s for my life in general, and not just here in Podgorica.

Pay attention to where you will be staying!

My flat is at least 0.5mi or nearly a kilometer from anything, which is not usually a big deal, but with the heat, lugging groceries and water wasn’t my favorite thing. I don’t drink tap water when I’m traveling, which means I’m carrying water home about every other day.

One thing I hadn’t realized was that getting around via taxi or bus was going to be harder. I didn’t know that summer time meant city buses ran a reduced schedule since kids aren’t in school. It’s all about taxis, then, unless you are willing to walk. I often am, but some days were way too hot to walk 5-6km round trip to lunch. There is one taxi app, and you need a local number to verify, so that rules me out. My iPhone seems to not really agree with the signal here, so I can’t even call a cab! The only other place my cell signal does not work is Bulgaria (that I know of). I did download offline maps, and that allowed me to navigate, since the phone still uses wifi triangulation/gps regardless of cell connection.

Taxi drivers here don’t seem to like being flagged down. I’ve had mixed success at this, but it’s my only option. If you want to hire a cab at the bus station, there is a cabal that runs the prices, and the minimum is 10 Euros, regardless of distance. Today, after looking at the old prison, I wanted to go about a mile to the Indian restaurant, about 3 Euros on the meter, and they told me where to stick it when I asked them to run the meter. There is a bookie that runs it, and keeps tabs on the taxi rank, so don’t even try to go to the end of the line and attempt to deal directly with a driver (guess how I found that out haha).

Attention: If you are coming here between June and September, stay in a hotel close to a shopping mall (except Mall of Montenegro, the neighborhood has nothing going on, and fewer food options). Trust me. The malls offer more than retail: ample air-conditioned lounge space and food. Oh, yeah, and free restrooms. Shopping malls have become unlikely allies on my trip for these reasons. Cabs also hang around the malls, so getting one will be easier. Don’t stay close to the bus station, there are fewer restaurants, and those restaurants aren’t worth your time. The Georgian restaurant nearby serves frozen food (all frozen except bakery items and fresh salads). I’m glad the waitress told me the truth when I asked. I had been hoping for some lobio, or bean stew, but if it’s frozen, I’d rather just get a tin of beans, mix it with ajvar, and eat it with bread. It’s cheap and healthy. I eat ajvar beans often, and am not looking forward to being out of ajvar territory again soon. Ajvar is a roasted red pepper spread that’s ubiquitous here in the Balkans, and I put it on everything. It goes on everything. I need it.

Street Art is Excellent

Lots of fantastic sports-related street art, and some nice murals. Some are popular enough to be noted on the Apple Maps app.

If you like walking for street art, this is a good city for that. The undersides of the bridges are great for graffiti, just watch your step for trash and poop.

The noble street kiosk is everywhere you would want one, so even on the hottest days, a cold, cool, or room-temperature drink is within reach. Some of the outdoors refrigerators have a hard time keeping up with the heat, keeping the drinks tepid, but even that was refreshing in 40º+ heat.

Altogether, I decided to conform to Podgorica’s slow pace. By embracing it, I avoided boredom, and instead found rest.

People aren’t in much of a hurry around here. If you are in a hurry, you’ll just get frustrated. You can’t bend a city. Instead, it will either bend or break you. Just let it bend you, it’s part of the experience, right? Sit in a cafe and drink that coffee as slow as you can while you read something. Take your time with meals, it’s not like you have somewhere to be, right?

I hope that people who visit Podgorica will enjoy its subtle charm and poke their heads around a few corners to see what’s there. You never know, a friendly stray might be sitting right in front of some cool street art - a two for one!

-FT